


Cycles

by SeraphStarshine



Category: BBC Radio 1 RPF, One Direction (Band)
Genre: I just had to write this, Ibiza 2018, M/M, Mostly Canon Compliant, POV Switches, but it's the soft Gryles version that I want to believe happened, fluff and a bit of smut, inspired by Nick's instagram stories, some events don't line up perfectly but I did my best, this is Nick's vacation in a story basically
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-05
Updated: 2018-06-05
Packaged: 2019-05-13 16:36:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14752442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeraphStarshine/pseuds/SeraphStarshine
Summary: Lose another day here...Lose another year here...I'm with you.Or a mostly canon compliant version of Nick's vacation to Ibiza, Spain (May 2018) with a Gryles spin.





	Cycles

**Author's Note:**

> This was not planned, but the urge to write Gryles is strong and this happened even though I have hit a block with all of my other stories.
> 
> I worked on this mostly non-stop for the past two weeks and I am so fried that I haven't been able to properly edit it, but I wanted to get it up. All mistakes are my own, and if you see any glaringly terrible ones please feel free to point them out to me.
> 
> This is very indulgent and fluffy with a tiny bit of angst thrown in to give it some semblance of a plot.
> 
> Most of it is based off on Nick's vacation to Ibiza but some events might not fit the timeline exactly. I tried my best to make it as accurate as possible though.
> 
> My usual disclaimer applies: this is entirely fictional and I don't know Nick or Harry.
> 
> I hope you all enjoy.
> 
> Find me on [tumblr](http://theyellowgrassgrows.tumblr.com/) if you'd like. I am always up for a chat about Gryles or anything else really.
> 
> I'm sending you all lots of love xxx

**13/5**

**00:00**

Nick can't sleep that night. He knows he needs to, but his mind is too excited to settle. He's acting like a teenager again, counting down the seconds until he'll be reunited with Harry. The other man always makes him feel young somehow.

He tries to close his eyes, but they immediately snap back open again. He's going to regret this tomorrow for sure, but his body refuses to rest. He debates seeing if anyone else is up, but he knows that will ensure that he won't get any sleep at all tonight, so he forces himself to stay in his too large bed.

He wishes he could go pick Harry up at the airport. He'd suggested it of course, but Harry had assured him he didn't have to. He argued the time difference, and the fact that he wasn't entirely certain when he'd get in. Nick hadn't cared about that, but he didn't want to be spotted and alert the world to the fact that Harry would be coming to join him in Spain. This is their time, their week together away from the chaos of both of their daily lives, and Nick wants to keep that to themselves as much as possible.

Nick glances over at the digital display gracing the clock to his left. It's midnight here, so it should be around seven in Tokyo. Harry's flight will have left already, which means he's on his way now. He lets himself check his phone, and sure enough, Harry has texted him, letting him know he's boarding and he'll see him soon.

Nick messages him back even though he's aware he can't answer him until he lands, telling him to hurry it up and adding in a few too many emojis just because he can. Harry likes to tease him for them, saying that he's going to forget how to express himself in words soon. The memory makes him smile, which isn't a surprise. Thinking of Harry typically has that effect on him.

Nick attempts to calculate when he'll get in, but even with his recent practice in time zone conversions, he can't quite figure it out. His brain reminds him that it'll go by faster if he dozes his way through the next few hours, but that's easier said than done.

He is tired though, they'd been busy today exploring Ibiza. It's so lovely here, and Nick can't wait to share it with Harry. Harry had been gutted that he had to miss Annie's wedding, but no one had minded, especially not Nick.

It had taken them a ridiculous amount of time to figure out when they could both take a week off of work and touring that would actually match up, but they'd done it. They're trying to make this work, they're discussing things instead of dancing around them, they're looking toward the future which they used to pretend didn't exist.

This is a first for them - this preplanning, and it means so much to Nick that they're sitting down and talking things out now. It makes what they have feel more real - more _permanent_. Even if Harry can't be there for everything, Nick never expected him too.

Harry has his own life, and so does Nick. That's how it is, and how it will always be, but they're actively attempting to weave them together rather than waiting for chance to throw them a lucky break which was their past method of dealing with their varying schedules.

But if Nick wants to be vaguely functioning tomorrow, he needs to get at least a few hours of sleep. He manages to get comfortable as he runs through the list of what they plan on doing over the next few days, clutching a pillow to his chest and holding it tightly, pretending it's Harry instead of an inanimate object.

**13:47**

Harry rubs his eyes groggily when his driver speaks, letting him know that they're almost there. Even through his haze of exhaustion, he feels every muscle in his body tense up in anticipation. He's about to be reunited with Nick, and that's enough to fill him with energy no matter how tired he is. It hasn't been all that long since they'd last seen each other, but it always feels like ages to him.

He pulls out his phone so he can let Nick know he's minutes away. He receives a reply seconds later, saying that Nick will be waiting out front coupled with a selfie of him captioned _"just so you remember what I look like_ " followed by three laughing faces which Harry immediately saves to his camera roll.

Harry muffles a yawn in the crook of his arm, blinking away the tears that form after the forceful action. He wishes he had been able to sleep better on the plane. He usually doesn't have a problem with it, but he also typically uses whoever he's with as a human pillow. This time he didn't have that opportunity since no one else in the band or crew was flying to Spain, leaving him with only his bodyguard who isn't a fan of snuggles.

He had gotten some rest during the almost thirteen hour flight, but not nearly enough, and the fact that it's still daylight here when it would be night in Japan is confusing his already worn out body. None of that matters though when the car pulls to a halt. Harry forgets his weariness and aches instantly as he presses his face against the cool glass of the window, desperately searching for any sign of Nick.

The second he spots him, Harry bolts. He knows he's going to get a lecture for that later on from his bodyguard, but he doesn't care. This isn't London, or even America where he has to be careful everywhere he goes. For once, he has a modicum of privacy, and he's going to use it to his full advantage.

Nick's face breaks into a grin as Harry all but barrels toward him, his bag which he'd forgotten was still tangled around his arm banging against his leg with every step he takes. Harry manages to shake it free so it won't hamper him any further, letting it drop to the grass as his feet eat up the small amount of space separating him from Nick, throwing himself into his chest with a bit more force than he means to.

Nick catches him though, just like he always does, his arms wrapping tightly around his middle as Harry clings to him. He actually tears up a bit as he buries his face in Nick's neck, which he could blame on his lack of sleep, but that's not entirely the truth.

Being with Nick rips down the walls he isn't even aware he builds up when he's on tour. He is still himself while they're apart, but when he's playing a show almost every night and surrounded with new faces and different cities constantly, he does have to maintain a mental shield in order to stay sane.

That all shatters around Nick, it's one of the many reasons Harry loves him so much. Nick lets him be entirely himself, he doesn't have to fake anything, or live up to the expectations people have of Harry Styles the pop star. That is a gift he'll never take for granted.

"Hiya darling," Nick murmurs softly, the cadence of his voice soothing Harry so much that he feels himself sag against Nick's torso. "Missed you."

"Missed you too," Harry croaks, his skin burning when he feels Nick's lips graze his hairline gently.

Harry knows they need to move, that they can't stay locked together out here forever, but he gives himself a few more seconds to enjoy the sensation of being held. He feels so safe in this moment, so _loved_ , and he soaks it in like a flower turned toward the sun before he forces himself to lift his head and meet Nick's tender gaze.

Nick strokes the pad of his thumb across Harry's cheek, most likely wiping away a tear that had gotten caught there. He doesn't say anything about it though, he doesn't need to. Nick understands, and even if he isn't as visibly emotional as Harry is, he knows he's experiencing the same feelings as well.

"You want to go in love? You look a bit knackered," Nick suggests when he realizes that Harry is at a loss for words.

"Yeah, just let me grab my things first," Harry nods gratefully, but he doesn't release his hold on Nick just yet.

"We can manage it in one go together I think," Nick speaks mostly to himself as he peers over Harry's shoulder so he can see what his driver has pulled out of the boot. He touches his lips gently to the corner of Harry's mouth before moving him back in the direction he'd just come, steering him carefully by the hand when Harry stumbles. "Then you can have a lie-down. Everyone else is still hungover from yesterday, so you won't be missing anything."

"You sure? I'll be fine for a bit longer if you wanted to do something," Harry protests, but even he can hear the weariness dripping off of his tone.

"You'd be asleep tucked up in some corner within seconds, and don't try to tell me otherwise," Nick laughs lightly in response. He nudges Harry playfully before bending down to retrieve the bag he'd dropped earlier, tossing it over his own shoulder easily as they walk toward the rest of his luggage. "I didn't sleep too well last night either actually, so a quick kip sounds amazing."

"Are you just saying that to make me feel better?" Harry teases. He knows Nick most likely isn't, he can see faint bags under his eyes now that he takes a better look, but he also doesn't want to prevent Nick from going out if he did have something planned.

"Harold - do you really think that lowly of me?" Nick jests dramatically. "My boyfriend thinks I'm a liar, I'm gutted."

"I think you're wonderful." Harry smiles at Nick's antics, his stomach fluttering at the word boyfriend. They've established that's what they are long ago, but he'll never get tired of hearing Nick call him that.

"Buttering me up now are we?" Nick chuckles lowly. He pauses mid-stride so he can tug Harry closer to him by their conjoined fingers. "I see your game Styles. Accuse me of hurtful things then make me forget about it with a follow-up compliment. Very clever of you, but I'm not that easy."

Harry shuts him up by kissing him properly. He's aware of what Nick's doing, he always rambles utter nonsense when he's strongly affected by something. Harry usually indulges him, but he's too tired to think of a good response, and this works just as well as continuing their ridiculous banter, maybe even better actually. Nick reciprocates immediately, his hands running gently through Harry's lengthening curls as he cups the back of his head, bringing their faces even closer together.

Harry knows they should relocate to somewhere more private, but he can't be bothered to stop. He needs this, the reminder of how perfectly Nick's lips slot against his, how he treats him like he's delicate but somehow manages to ruin him in the best way at the same time. So he throws caution to the wind, losing himself in the moment and trusting that everything will be fine. It always is when he is with Nick.

**18:24**

Nick shifts himself into a more comfortable position, trying to bring some blood back to his limbs which are protesting his current inactivity. He takes care not to jostle Harry who's curled up against his side, his chest rising visibly with every deep inhale he takes.

Nick has been up for about an hour now. He's debated attempting to do something while he lets Harry sleep, but in his usual fashion, the younger man has wrapped around him as tightly as he can, making that task a bit difficult. Honestly, Nick really doesn't have the motivation required to move even if he wasn't trapped. He might wake Harry after all, and it's not like he has anywhere else to be that could beat this.

It's rare that they get moments like this, where they can just exist together without the pressures of an approaching show or the fact that he has to be up at four thirty in the morning niggling at the back of his mind. He knows Harry will chastise him later on for letting them waste the day in bed, but he needs to rest, even if he won't admit it.

Nick finds himself petting softly through Harry's curls, brushing the unruly locks back from his forehead when he's certain that the motion isn't disturbing him. His hair's gotten so long lately, and Nick loves it, although he can say that about every style Harry's had. This length suits him though, it reminds Nick of when he first met him, even if he's changed in more than just looks since then.

Before Nick can get lost in his memories, he hears a quiet knock on the door. He instinctually moves forward, using his upper body to hide Harry the best that he can before he belatedly remembers that they don't have to be so cautious here.

"Come in," Nick calls out lowly. His mother enters seconds later, a teasing grin tugging at her features when she takes in the sight of Harry tangled around him with one of Nick's hands still resting on the top of his head.

"Thought I'd find you here," she nods to herself. "Just wanted to let you know we're thinking about starting dinner soon. You going to be joining us?"

"Yeah, we'll be down in a bit. Think I'll let him sleep for another half hour or so though," Nick replies in a whisper. It's not entirely necessary, he knows that Harry can sleep through a lot more noise than a conversation, especially when he's jetlagged, but he errs on the side of caution just in case.

"No worries if you aren't," his mother assures him. "We can always save you something."

"Thanks mum, I appreciate it." She gives him a soft smile before heading back toward the door, but she pauses with her hand on the knob, turning in Nick's direction again with an unbearably fond look on her face.

"It's nice seeing you like this you know, warms my heart."

"Mum..." Nick groans, hiding his blush behind his free hand the best that he can, which ends in him smudging his glasses since he's failed to recall that he's wearing them until just now.

"Don't give me that tone Nicholas. I'm allowed to be happy that you've finally found a proper someone, 'bout time you did."

"That makes me sound like I'm ancient," Nick whines, using his typical deflection tactics that help him hide the sudden rush of emotions that well up in his chest at her words.

"If you're ancient, then what am I?" she scoffs. "All I'm saying is, I can tell you really love him, and that's not something that everyone gets to experience. So don't throw a spanner in the works this time will you? I like having Harry around, and you're much more bearable when he's here, so it's a win for everyone."

"I'm really feeling the family love this holiday aren't I?" he retorts sarcastically.

"No need to get stroppy, you know what I mean."

"I do," Nick gives in, placing his palms up in surrender when his mother wags her finger at him, "and believe me, I'm planning on keeping him around as long as he wants to stay."

"Good, glad to see you two finally got your act together." Nick laughs weakly at his mother's statement, his cheeks flushing again from embarrassment as she leaves before he can gather himself enough to reply.

Now that they are alone again, Nick snuggles up next to Harry, setting an alarm on his phone for an hour from now just in case he dozes off again. He'd like to let Harry sleep as long as he wants, but he needs to eat too, and they can always go back to bed after dinner if he's still tired.

As Nick makes himself cozy, his mother's words replay through his head. Despite the jesting nature of her tone, she's right. Nick knows Harry's the one for him, and apparently, he's not the only one that sees it. His mum has been there through it all, she's been on the sidelines of their up and down romance from the beginning, so the fact that she can see what Nick feels for Harry has made him all gooey inside.

She'd been skeptical of Harry at first, which is understandable given how young he was when they started dating. The younger man had won her over soon enough though, just like he did to Nick the very first day they met.

His mother's approval obviously wasn't the only obstacle the two of them had faced, they'd been through a lot to get to this point. Honestly, there were times Nick didn't think they'd ever reach it. He'd loved Harry for years, but he hadn't wanted to hold him back, to tie him down with an old DJ while he was out taking over the world.

Harry had always found a way to meld himself into Nick's life again though, even when he was convinced that he was gone for good. He'd hadn't given up on Nick, so Nick isn't going to give up on this either - on _them_ , not this time. He's done with doubting himself, of pushing Harry away in what he thinks is an act of self-sacrifice.

Harry loves him, and he doesn't want anyone else. Nick believes that now, and the same applies to him. Harry's it, he always has been, and he always will be.

**14/5**

**7:17**

Harry manages to wake up on his own sometime the next morning, mostly thanks to the faint sunlight that's warming his face and encouraging his eyes to open. He'd reluctantly left the room last night after continued encouragement from Nick. He hadn't wanted to move, but Nick had swayed him with the promise of food. After dinner, he'd attempt to spend some time with Nick's family when they went out to the pool, but it seems Nick's earlier prediction had been correct, and he'd ended up dozing off in one of the lounge chairs within an hour.

He doesn't remember much after that, but he thinks Nick carried him back to bed. He vaguely recalls curling up in his arms and mumbling something about how he was fine, to which Nick had laughed softly in reply before tucking him in and telling him to get some more rest.

He feels better now though, still a bit jetlagged, but he wants to leave the bed. His muscles are stiff from the long flight, and he knows they'll only protest more over the course of the day if they aren't loosened up.

Harry slips out from under the duvet, stretching his back when his feet hit the carpeted floor. Nick's still asleep, but Harry doubts he'll stay that way for long. His work schedule has been permanently ingrained in his head, so even when he's on holiday, he wakes up early no matter how late of a night he's had.

Harry does some simple yoga poses to alleviate the tension in his legs, his curls falling into his eyes as he lets his head hang in between his arms limply. Of course, it's then that Nick decides to get up, his soft chuckle alerts Harry to that fact.

"Still on your yoga kick are you?"

"'Course," Harry huffs, turning his gaze in Nick's direction the best that he can without losing his balance. "You do it too, so you can't tease."

" _Did_ it," Nick corrects him. "I could never get over how silly I felt when I tried it on my own, so I've written it out of my workout routine."

"Well if yoga's too ridiculous for you, how do you feel about a quick run?" he suggests. That's what his body needs right now. A jog always loosens him up and works out the kinks he gets when he's forced to sit down for too long.

"I think I will take you up on that," Nick nods, checking the time on his phone while he throws off the blankets. "No one should be up yet, so I can show you the scenery and we can make it back in time for breakfast."

"Sounds perfect," Harry grins, "but first I want a kiss." He pushes himself upward with the palms of his hands, purposefully wobbling slightly so he can fall back into Nick's chest.

"Have you brushed your teeth yet?" Nick teases. He doesn't even give Harry a chance to tell him no before he's leaning in, nipping softly at his lower lip as he kisses him thoroughly.

Harry has to drag himself away from Nick's mouth before he tosses out the idea of a run in favor of another form of exercise. They both get ready quickly, stepping out into the brisk air without bothering anyone else in the house.

"Which direction do you want to go?" Harry asks, peering at their surroundings with bright eyes, taking in everything he'd been too sleepy to observe yesterday.

"Saw a nice path down there," Nick points. "I didn't follow it that far at the time, but it looks like it loops back after a few miles, so it should make for a good route."

"Lead the way," Harry gestures, waiting for Nick to take a few paces before he follows behind him.

They pause at the head of the road to put on some music since Nick is convinced that he can't jog without it. Harry laughs when he forgoes headphones and just lets it play out from his phone so they can both hear it, the sound resonating in the otherwise silent air before the song Nick's picked joins it.

Nick takes off again when he's satisfied with his choice, maintaining a looping pace that Harry finds easy to keep up with. He can run for ages, but Nick's faster than him if he wants to be. They've had numerous races in the past, but Nick's taking it easy today, which Harry's sore muscles appreciate.

Harry has no idea how long they've been out when he hears something over the sound of Lady Gaga which is the current track playing from Nick's mobile. His ears perk up as he tries to ascertain its source, and when he catches the noise again, his lips break into a smile.

"Nick - is that cows?" he asks loudly, increasing his speed slightly so he's directly beside him.

"Think so. There's lots of farms and stuff around here, so I wouldn't be surprised."

"Can we go see them?" Harry questions eagerly.

"We can try, not sure where they're at exactly, but they sounded close."

They continue around the next bend in the trail at a slightly faster pace. Harry keeps his eyes peeled for the cows as Nick holds up his phone and starts taking a video. Harry hangs back as he does, it's instinctual at this point, even if a part of him is tempted to say something anyway.

He'd rather not let the rest of the world know he's here, that's the point of him sneaking away, but mostly, he doesn't want to disturb Nick and his family on their holiday. He's accepted that his fans will most likely despise anyone he dates, which is why he and Nick have kept their relationship as private as possible, but he doesn't want to hide him forever. If only there was a way that he could protect Nick from the perils that come with being romantically connected to him, that way they'd have no reason to be so secretive.

Harry's distracted from his thoughts when Nick stops in front of him abruptly. He's finished with his video, or he assumes he is since his phone is no longer in sight. Nick turns to face him, pointing back the way they came toward a field to their right.

"Did you see?" Nick beams, gesturing again when Harry fails to look the way he wants him too.

"Wha - _oh_!" Harry exclaims happily.

Near the stone fence separating their path from the grass that seems to stretch on endlessly is a young calf. They're staring their way curiously, their large eyes peering up at them in a questioning manner, most likely trying to decide if they have any food on them.

"Caught them on camera and everything, was just waiting for you to notice, but apparently you were distracted. Checking out my arse again Styles?"

"Maybe," Harry giggles softly, not bothering to mention what's truly on his mind in favor of focusing on the small animal. He moves toward the cow tentatively, making sure the owner isn't around just in case this isn't allowed. "Do you think I can pet them?"

"Don't see why not?" Nick shrugs. "They look like they want a bit of attention, don't you sweetie?" he coos at the animal as they both come within arm's length of them.

Harry reaches out his hand gently when his knees bump against the stone barrier, letting the cow sniff at his knuckles before daring to touch their cheek in a feather-light caress. He beams when the calf decides to shove their nose against his hand, snuffling at his skin wetly before licking it with their large tongue.

"Look toward me," Nick speaks up as Harry continues to stroke the animal delicately, making sure to keep away from their teeth since they are trying to nibble at his fingers at the moment.

Harry does as he's asked, seeing that Nick has his phone out again. He squints his eyes against the sun as Nick snaps a photo, his smile staying in place even when Nick puts his mobile down. He thumbs through his camera roll while he returns to Harry's side, showing him what he decides is the best shot when he's satisfied.

"Saving this one for myself," Nick mutters as Harry looks down at his grinning face and the cow which is staring at Harry instead of the camera.

"That smile is only for you anyway," Harry responds. His stomach flutters when Nick blushes faintly before pressing a quick kiss to Harry's cheek. "Well, and also cows apparently."

"I think I can live with sharing you with this one. We should probably leave soon though, don't want the farmer coming out and thinking we're trying to steal their livestock."

"Right, probably pushed our luck enough as is," Harry nods, patting the cow goodbye one last time before he moves away from the fence.

"Ready to head back, or do you want to go a bit further?" Nick asks.

"I think I'm good for now, nothing up ahead will beat a cow anyway," Harry decides after a quick internal debate.

"What if there are more cows?" Nick jests.

"True, but I think I've worked out most of the kinks for now. We can have more cow adventures after breakfast."

"You know, I think there are some miniature ponies around here, we'll have to find them next time. I know I saw them on the drive in, but I can't quite remember where now..."

Nick keeps talking as they walk briskly back the way they came, matching his stride to Harry's this time so they're side by side the entire way. Harry thinks back to the picture he'd just taken as he listens to Nick ramble, the reckless side of him debating on asking him to just post it to Instagram and see what happens.

He won't, at least not now. He doesn't want the fallout from it to hit the entire Grimshaw family, but he does wish that he could share the fact that he loves Nick with the world. They've done so well at keeping their relationship obscured, and at first, it had seemed necessary. They were dealing with enough as it was, so media backlash was a layer of drama they weren't ready to handle.

Things are good now though, and as private as Harry is, he never planned on keeping Nick a secret forever. He wants to be able to talk about him or even just hold his hand when they go out, but the fact that it would disrupt Nick's life greatly if they went public always holds him back. So he keeps silent and enjoys the cadence of Nick's voice and the synchronized beat of their footsteps instead of voicing his thoughts, even if they still swirl restlessly in the back of his mind.

**18:10**

Nick fiddles with his phone in between sipping a beer as he waits for his mum and sister to finish preparing dinner. He'd offer to help twice, and after being rejected each time, he's resorted to staring hungrily at the food that's already been set out since the liquid he's ingesting is doing little to placate him.

Nick goes on Instagram just for something to do. He flips to his story but doesn't start a video, messing around with the text aimlessly as his stomach growls impatiently. Harry enters the room while Nick is distracted, flopping down in the chair he's decided to perch on the arm of instead of using it for its intended purpose. He's closer to the food this way, and it gives him a better vantage point of the kitchen.

"You remind me of Pig right now," Harry chuckles softly, nudging Nick lightly with his shoulder as he speaks.

"Hungry and adorable?" he winks. "I take that as a compliment."

"It was meant to be one."

"You guys are sickening," Andrew scoffs jokingly as he walks by. Like the younger brother he is, Nick sticks his tongue out at him in retaliation, but his immature gesture is ignored as he tries to sneak some bread from the spread in front of them.

Harry laughs quietly under his breath, his dimples popping out as he tries to contain his giggles. Deciding to give Andrew more to complain about, Nick picks his phone up, making sure it captures Harry's expression as he adds the caption _"my true love"._

"If you think that's sappy, then what about this?" Nick asks gleefully. He still enjoys riling his brother up just as much as he did when they were children, if not more.

"I think you just made me lose my appetite," Andrew snorts.

" _Hey_ \- I want to see," Harry interjects, turning Nick's wrist toward him so he can view the screen of his mobile.

"Well when you do that you make it seem like I'm professing my love for the tomato sauce," Nick points out. Since Harry has tilted the camera, the words now rest directly over the bowl of red liquid. "Which is also true, that might just be my soulmate of the food world."

"He's not kidding," Jane snickers as she finally emerges from the kitchen. "We've got to fight him off to get a lick of it."

"You make me sound like I'm some sort of savage," Nick protests his sister's accusations. "I have table manners, thank you."

"If you say so," Eileen joins the conversation. Nick is briefly distracted from their bullying by the delicious aroma of whatever his mum has underneath the steaming dish she's carrying. The extended wait for dinner has made him ravenous, but he still feels the need to defend himself. "If you want to prove it, the food's ready if you're done recording it."

"I'm not in fact," Nick huffs, choosing to be difficult for the sake of it. He actually does start a video, bouncing his proclamation that had originally been meant for Harry around the bowl of sauce, keeping the sound off so that Harry's laughter won't be heard in the background.

"I will never understand why people watch those things," Eileen mutters as she goes about setting the table, ignoring Nick as he continues to add to his story when more of the food is revealed. "What do you think Harry? You don't do all this silly social media sharing."

"I don't, but I like watching Nick's," Harry replies. "Sort of makes me feel like I'm a part of whatever he's up to you know?"

"Well of course he likes it, he's completely smitten with him," Andrew states. "It's the rest of his followers we don't get."

"Nick's a very lovable person," Harry answers with a shrug, a soft grin tugging at his lips as he speaks. Nick decides to distract himself before he melts into a puddle on the floor, so he takes the silverware from his sister, placing it at each spot with much more care than is necessary.

Nick doesn't miss the fond look Eileen shoots Harry before her gaze turns to him. She's falling in love with Harry almost as hard as he is, which is understandable, the younger man does have that effect on people. When Nick finishes with his task, he drops into the chair next to Harry's, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek before he sits down to eat.

As they begin digging into the array of food, Nick can't stop glancing at Harry out of the corner of his eye. He fits into this picture perfectly, almost like he's the missing piece of Nick's life that he's been searching for. That statement is much too cheesy for him to ever voice aloud, but that doesn't make it any less true.

He'd never considered bringing a boyfriend with his family on holiday before he met Harry, in fact, he'd have laughed if they had suggested it, but look at him now. Harry's different from everyone else though, he always has been, and Nick is so glad that he's here.

They fit together in every way, even though it was a struggle to line up their edges at first. It's been difficult what with Harry being gone so much, but Nick wouldn't trade this moment for the world. The fact that Harry's chosen to spend his free week from tour here when he has a thousand other places he could be means more to Nick than he can ever express in words.

**15/5**

**1:11**

Harry bites down on his bottom lip as Nick twists two fingers inside of him, trying desperately to keep as quiet as possible. It's a difficult task though, and Harry isn't sure if he'll be able to maintain his earlier promise that he can. He wants to, wants to be good for Nick, doesn't want this to end, but _god_ \- he's so tempted to cry out when Nick pushes against his prostate insistently.

"So gorgeous darling," Nick whispers hoarsely. His compliment has Harry whimpering desperately, his hips bucking upward when Nick continues to stretch him open.

Harry already feels destroyed, and they've barely even started. It's always like this after he's away from Nick for any amount of time. He doesn't so much forget how well Nick knows his body, how he can transform him into a begging mess within seconds, but his memory is a paltry version of the real thing. The initial reminder of what being with Nick is truly like never fails to overwhelm him.

Harry groans quietly when Nick removes his hand from in between his legs, his hole clenching down greedily on nothing but air. Nick pets soothingly at his thigh as he slicks up his cock, the obscene sight of his swollen length sliding through his fist has Harry even more worked up than he already is. He wants to suck Nick off, to smell and taste him again after so long, but more than that, he wants him inside of him.

Nick positions himself in the middle of his splayed legs, which Harry pushes open even wider in a physical invitation inspired by need. Nick grabs at the base of his cock, pressing it gently against Harry's slick hole, the simple feeling of the head of his dick rubbing against the sensitive muscles there has Harry biting back a moan.

"Hurry up," Harry whines when Nick continues teasing him instead of filling him up like he needs.

"Thought I told you to be quiet," Nick hums, arching one eyebrow at him teasingly. Even if he is mostly jesting, Harry takes his word as an order. He forces himself to keep silent as Nick slowly slips inside of him, his entire body celebrating the feeling of being so full. "That's what you wanted yeah?" Nick asks like it isn't completely obvious.

Harry nods happily, his cock bouncing against his stomach when Nick bottoms out entirely. He squirms a bit in an attempt to distract himself from the desire to make noise, his nerves shivering sporadically as his muscles do their best to adjust for Nick's girth.

"Oh god," Harry groans without meaning to when Nick picks him up suddenly, settling him in his lap with a show of strength that still surprises Harry to this day. He's not a small person, but Nick makes him feel like he is, which is just one of the many things he loves about him. "Sorry," he adds on belatedly when he realizes he's spoken aloud, his cheeks flushing hotly at his slip up.

"You're alright love. You can talk now, just keep it down."

"I will," Harry nods. He can't forget that they're in a house surrounded by Nick's entire family, which is not the ideal setting for what they're doing, but there's no way that Harry can wait until they get back to London for this, not after being separated from Nick for weeks.

"You ready?" Nick asks when he's got them both repositioned comfortably.

"Please," Harry replies instantly, his forehead pressing against Nick's shoulder as he clings to him tightly, his body trembling with the need to be fucked, to come, but he also wishes he could stay like this with Nick forever, balanced on this precipice between ecstasy and eternal waiting.

Nick doesn't draw things out any longer though, thank fuck for that. Harry knows he's just as impatient as he is, that he's been counting down the days until they can be together as well, he's just better at controlling himself. He's snapping now though as he holds Harry close, fucking up into him in slow, controlled thrusts that don't shake the bed too much but still manage to reduce Harry to a trembling mess within minutes.

Harry moves with Nick, pushing down when he shoves upward, his curls flopping into his eyes as the air in the room becomes humid and filled with the scent of sex. His cock is already leaking between them, combining precome with the sweat covering their abdomens as Nick pushes him closer to his orgasm with every passing second.

He'll never get enough of this, and not just the physical pleasure he's experiencing. It's more just being with Nick, of feeling this close to him, of trusting him entirely with his body and knowing that for once, he hasn't made a mistake. He can let go entirely around Nick and not be afraid of what will come out in the tabloids the next day, which makes simple things like this a thousand times better than they already are.

Nick mutters praises in Harry's ear as their bodies slap together, his words almost lost amid their heavy breathing and the loud pounding of Harry's heart. He hears them though, each statement increasing his arousal until he thinks he might cry if he doesn't come soon.

"You close?" Nick queries when Harry groans loudly against Nick's neck, muffling the sound in his damp skin the best he can.

"Yeah," Harry answers weakly. Nick knows how on edge he is, how quick he loses it the first few times after he's not been fucked for weeks, but the fact that he still checks in on him has butterflies warring with the white-hot desire that's swirling around in his stomach.

"Lie down for me then," Nick encourages him, helping Harry get on his back, which ends up with Nick slipping out of him. Harry doesn't have time to protest the emptiness he feels before Nick is pushing back into him roughly, his hips knocking against his arse as he fucks into him properly.

" _Fuck_ ," Harry moans quietly, his chest heaving as he tries not to come yet, Nick hasn't said he's allowed.

"It's alright darling," Nick speaks up as if he's read Harry's mind, which he might very well have done. "You can let go."

Nick leans in for a kiss once he's given Harry permission, their teeth clicking gently as Harry pushes their lips together eagerly. He's coming moments later, needing no other stimulation besides Nick's cock stretching him open, his eyes tearing up as he spurts across his stomach heavily.

Nick swallows down the sounds he lets out as he continues rocking into him, stealing the noise as well as the oxygen from his lungs with his talented mouth. Harry's not sure how much later it is, but at some point, Nick shudders heavily, and he knows he's coming too. He feels the warm rush inside of him, the jerky pattern to Nick's previously measured rhythm as he lets go, but he never stops kissing him. By the time they are forced to stop so they can breathe properly, Harry can feel Nick's come dripping down his thigh.

Harry is too weak to muster up a complaint as Nick slips out of him, his oversensitive muscles however briefly scream in protest before relaxing again. "Think anyone heard us?" Harry asks when he can speak again, his legs locking around Nick's waist when he makes an attempt to get up.

"Doubt it, you were surprisingly quiet, didn't think you had it in you."

"Told you I could be," Harry pouts. "I'll do a lot for your dick after all."

Nick laughs freely, his eyes crinkling at the corners before he leans down and kisses Harry again, their swollen lips meshing together as they roll across the sheets, most likely making a mess in the process, not that Harry really cares. He clings to Nick tightly as he licks against his gums, preserving this moment in his memory so he can carry it with him during the next few weeks of his tour.

They don't have the chance to do this nearly enough, but they are making the most of the time they are given. He still gets to have this - to have _Nick_ , even with his busy life, and that's more than Harry could ever ask for. He would like to go public with their relationship one day, but even if they never do, he's happy, and as long as Nick is too, that's all that matters.

**8:07**

Nick waves goodbye to his mum and brother as they drive off in the direction of the nearest grocery store since they'd eaten most everything they had in the house last night. He takes the opportunity to snap a photo of himself in the car's mirror before they go, deciding to post it even though it's not his best look, but it's one of the few pictures he has without Harry in it. So he keeps up the illusion of his strictly family holiday and lets it load.

Nick debates on the caption for much longer than he needs to, deciding on a simple _"hiya"_ with a running emoji. He's not actually going to go on a jog, not right now at least, but he does plan to walk quickly back to his room where Harry is still sleeping, and they might go out later after all.

Nick peeks into the window from the balcony, spying Harry still wrapped up in the sheets. He's tempted to join him and nap for a bit longer, but he has a feeling that if he does, he'll ruin his sleep schedule entirely. He's not even tired really, but he also isn't quite sure what to do with himself until Harry wakes.

He realizes he's left his camera on when he glances down at his mobile. When he registers how tousled his hair is, he laughs under his breath. A year ago, he'd have been mortified if anyone had seen him like this, but apparently maintaining his quiff is no longer such a high priority.

Not wanting to bother Harry just yet, Nick stays outside. The sun feels nice, and he might as well take a video since he's already on Instagram. He shifts his head back and forth a bit before running his fingers through his curls with a soft chuckle. "I look like Edward Scissorhands' auntie..."

He ends the video quickly when he hears footsteps approaching, his gaze instantly arrowing toward Harry. Nick swears he's got a magnet in him or something, it's the only explanation for how his eyes are always drawn to the younger man, even in a crowd. There's no one else around right now though, just Harry standing outside of their room with a grin dimpling his cheeks.

He's shirtless, which just isn't fair to spring on Nick without some warning. The sight leaves him tongue-tied for a moment as he stares at this beautiful boy that inexplicably wants him. His feet still work though, and he finds himself moving before he's even aware of making the decision, wrapping an arm around Harry when he reaches his side.

Harry nuzzles into his hold instantly, his smile never faltering as he tilts his head upward so he can meet Nick's eyes. "Edward Scissorhands huh? Your hair's not quite that wild yet."

"No, perhaps not," Nick agrees, "but it was the only reference I could pull out on short notice. Yours, however, is getting quite long. Stay away from sockets or you'll definitely be mistaken for Edward's much more attractive brother."

"It is isn't it?" Harry nods, his fingers running through the hair that's dusting the nape of his neck. "Thinking of letting it grow for a bit."

"Trying to relive 2015?"

"Nah, not quite that long I don't think, but I'll see how it goes," Harry answers slowly. "We could make a pact to not cut our hair and see who breaks it first?"

"Oh god - _no_ , I can tell you right now I'll lose. Unlike some international popstars, I can't pull off flowing locks. I can barely skate by like this."

"Shut up, you look amazing," Harry scoffs, his hand moving from his own hair to tangle in Nick's instead.

"You're biased."

"Nope, that's you. You just don't want to admit that I'm right."

"Whatever makes you feel better about yourself Styles," Nick laughs, letting his lips skate across Harry's forehead when he pulls him closer by his curls.

"I'd feel better if you kissed me."

So Nick does, his mouth tilting upward at the corners when Harry hums into his mouth happily. He can't stop smiling even when Harry slips his tongue past his teeth. His heart is falling into that odd rhythm that only Harry can cause, which always seem to bring with it a rush of euphoria.

Despite his protests, Harry's compliments mean the world to Nick. Honestly, the fact that Harry's attracted to him at all is a huge confidence boost. He doesn't hate himself, even if he's self-deprecating at times, but he can't remember feeling this comfortable in his own skin before he met Harry.

Harry knows it too, he can sense when Nick needs to be reassured, even if he's not aware that he does until after it happens. He doesn't deserve him really, no one does, but even if Nick doesn't think he'll ever be good enough for him, he's so grateful that Harry doesn't agree.

**16/5**

**9:01**

Harry actually gets up before Nick the next morning, but only by a small margin. He takes advantage of this rare opportunity and snuggles closer to Nick, smoothing out his eyebrows with his thumb just for an excuse to touch him.

Nick wakes up soon after that, his nose scrunching up before his eyes open, which Harry finds to be incredibly endearing. "Sleeping Beauty finally got enough rest huh?" he grins.

"Apparently so. You, on the other hand, had quite the lie in."

"Oh sod off, it's only...oh bloody hell - is it really nine?" Nick groans when he twists around to view the time. "I promised mum I'd take her to that old town today, or was it a church? Well whatever it is, knowing her, she'll already be up and ready to go by now."

"Think she's out on the porch sunbathing," Harry remarks, "looks like she's doing some yoga poses too. Can't believe you were teasing me for it when you're the odd one out here."

"Stop harassing me Styles, I can be fit without doing yoga," Nick sighs playfully.

"Well I can't argue with that," Harry chuckles, eyeing Nick's body in an exaggerated manner. "Still, couldn't hurt."

"Wrong, my pride was hurt as well as my arse when I fell the last time. I'm done with the stuff."

"Fine..." Harry gives in with a pout.

"Don't do that to me popstar, that look is unfair, and I need to be getting ready, not melting due to your puppy dog eyes."

"I can come with you two right?"

"'Course," Nick answers instantly. "I'd probably die of boredom if you didn't. Just let me grab a quick shower while my mum's distracted and I'll be right out."

Nick kisses Harry on the mouth before he stands up, leaving his skin tingling faintly as he walks into the bathroom. Harry stays in bed for a few more minutes, but when he hears the water running, he decides to get dressed. He's not sure exactly what to wear today. Nick had been very vague with his description of where they're going, but he assumes that a t-shirt and shorts will be fine. He can't seem to find his trainers though, so he snags a pair of Nick's. They're a tiny bit too big, but Harry doesn't mind.

Harry's about to go out and sit with Eileen while he waits for Nick to finish up, but then he catches the sound of Nick's voice over the falling water. He's humming, at least Harry thinks he is. His guess is proven correct when the tap shuts off, cutting off the background noise and letting Harry recognize the tune.

"I love it when we play 1950," Harry sings along, pitching his voice loud enough that Nick will be sure to hear it through the door. "It's so cold that your stare's 'bout to kill me."

"I'm surprised when you kiss me," Nick adds in the next line before Harry can. He reenters the room with a towel wrapped around his waist and a warm smile that brightens the already well-lit space.

"So tell me why my gods look like you and tell me why it's wrong."

"So I'll wait for you, I'll pray," Nick continues, pulling Harry into his damp chest gently.

"I will keep on waiting for your love," Harry ends on a whisper, his eyes slipping closed as Nick leans down, kissing him deeply in favor of continuing the song.

"You're turning me into a sap Harold," Nick murmurs when they pull apart, their noses bumping gently since neither of them has moved more than an inch away.

"I like your sappy side," Harry hums happily, his lips tilting upward in search of another kiss.

"Good thing I'm fond of you too, even if you make me soft. Never going to live this down - god...look at me singing love songs," Nick rambles under his breath after he's escaped from Harry's hold for a second time. He looks just as flustered as Harry feels, his cheeks are red and the flush is already beginning to flow down his neck. "I'm especially fond of your mouth though."

"I could say the same about yours," Harry mutters, dragging Nick back down stubbornly while he speaks.

Nick kisses him thoroughly, his hands clutching at his waist and holding Harry as close as he can even though they're already chest to chest. He clings to him tightly, anchoring himself by locking his fingers around Nick's neck when his knees get wobbly. He knows they need to leave soon, Eileen is right outside after all, but he's sure she won't mind if they stay in here for a few more minutes.

**14:30**

After touring a seemingly endless amount of similar looking tan buildings, Nick is glad to be back at the house. Eileen seemed to have a good time though, which was the point of the whole thing. Harry had actually seemed interested as well, which didn't surprise Nick, he always manages to find beauty in even the dullest of things.

It wasn't really Nick's scene though, and as hard as he tried, he couldn't find much that held his interest. So he'd kept himself entertained taking pictures of the two of them marveling over the architecture together, as well as posting a few teasing Instagram videos featuring only his mother of course.

Now the whole family is out relaxing by the pool. Nick had spent some time in the water at first, but he's currently splayed out on the deck, trying to gain a tan that won't turn into a burn a few hours later. It's most likely a futile attempt, his skin doesn't seem to like to darken naturally, but maybe the sun in Spain will be kinder to him than the one in London.

He's also using his position to survey Harry without being noticed. The younger man had gravitated toward Rose the second she'd made an appearance, and now he and his niece are in their own little bubble that Nick is loathe to interrupt, but that doesn't mean he can't observe them.

Nick thinks his heart might actually burst as he watches Harry play with Rose. She'd become smitten with him instantly of course, just like every other child he comes in contact with. She's currently sitting in his lap, playing what Nick thinks is Candy Crush on his phone which Harry had been holding for him while he'd taken a quick dip.

Harry's making himself as small as possible, curling around the young girl while she moves her fingers across the screen, squealing in delight when it produces a result. Nick wonders if he should get his blood pressure checked, he feels in danger of fainting with how happy he is currently, but honestly, even if this did end up hospitalizing him, he wouldn't miss it for the world.

Harry's face is the definition of content when Rose turns her gaze up toward his, the emotion resonating within Nick as well as he continues to observe them out of the corner of his eye. The fact that he can give Harry moments like this, that he's so comfortable with him and his family, that's something Nick could never have imagined when he first met the younger man.

They've come so far since that day, and as mad as he'd been for Harry then, he's so much more in love with him now. It should be impossible, but apparently his affection is boundless, and Harry finds new ways to remind Nick of how far he's gone for him just by existing.

Nick is broken out of his embarrassingly sappy inner monologue when Rose begins crying. From what he can tell, it seems they'd run out of lives on their game, and she's not at all pleased with that fact. Harry's eyebrows draw together as he tries to comfort her, his ringed fingers resting on the crown of her head as he encourages her to play something else.

Rose isn't having it though, she's determined to pitch her fit regardless of Harry's soothing words. Nick's about to get up to go help him, although knowing his luck, he'll probably make it worse, but thankfully, Olivia appears just then.

"I'm sorry," Harry apologizes, his face falling as she gathers Rose into her arms with practiced ease.

"Oh hush, it's not your fault," Liv assures him. "It's time for her nap anyway, I'm surprised she didn't go off on you before now actually. Let me just put her down, you can spoil her more when she wakes up."

Harry blushes faintly as she walks away, his gaze following Rose for a bit until he shifts around, his green eyes resting on Nick instead. He grins when Harry smiles at him, patting at the empty chair adjacent to him which Harry immediately decides to occupy now that Rose has left the area for the time being.

"Ah, now you remember I exist," Nick jests, nudging Harry gently with the edge of his leg when he continues to stare in the direction the baby went in. "She's fine by the way, you didn't do anything wrong," he adds on when he notices that Harry's forehead is still creased with distress.

"I know, I just hate when babies cry, I always feel so awful."

"Well you'll have to get over that if you want some of your own one day. From what I understand, babies cry quite often."

"Nicholas, is that your way of saying you want to have kids with me?" His gaze finally leaves Liv's retreating figure and locks onto Nick, a grin stretching across his face that Nick can feel his own features mirroring.

"Well, thought that was sort of obvious. You like kids, I like kids, we love each other. Seems natural that one day we'd get one," Nick shrugs. He's aware that there's a lot more planning that will have to go into it, but he does hope that eventually, he and Harry will be able to have a child of their own.

"I love you," Harry exhales happily, his eyes practically outshining the sun as he scoots closer to Nick. "I need to document this moment."

"With a selfie?" Nick giggles when Harry pulls out his phone.

"No, just a photo of you. You look amazing when you talk about having babies."

Nick laughs fondly at Harry's excitable nature, trying his best to smile for the camera even with the glare practically blinding him. "That good enough for you love? Bit bright for me, so I can't exactly open my eyes." He throws him a thumbs up for good measure, knowing he most likely looks atrocious, even if Harry'll never admit it.

"Perfect, you look amazing," Harry gushes. "I'm posting this."

"I should never have told you my passcode," Nick pretends to groan, not that he really minds. "Do at least try to sound like me this time. Your captions leave a lot to be desired."

"My captions are lovely, yours are the ones that need adjusting. Not every sentence has to end with an emoji you know?"

"No teasing me about my emojis or I'll take my phone back," Nick threatens lazily. He doesn't even try to move, he's much too comfortable where he is, but Harry still darts away like he's going to follow through on his word.

Nick lets him go, he'll be back soon enough anyway, he always is. Nick used to fear that one day he'd never return, that he'd leave him behind for bigger and better things, but he never did. And now look at them, discussing the future, and _children_ for god sakes.

Nick bites down on his lip to contain his inner joy, not wanting to get too worked up over things that have yet to come. It's hard not to be excited though when he's got Harry Styles in his life discussing having kids with him. This still feels a bit like a dream that he never woke up from, and if it is, Nick prays that he'll continue to live in it for the rest of eternity since nothing could be better than this.

**17/5**

**17:05**

Harry finds their roles reversed the next day when he gets the pleasure of watching Nick dote on Rose as he helps Olivia out in the kitchen, attempting to bake cinnamon rolls while still keeping an eye on the two of them. He thought he'd eventually get over how adorable Nick is with kids, but apparently, his fascination with observing him is only growing by the second.

They had spent most of the morning with Jane, Olivia, and Rose, giving Harry plenty of time to ogle over both Nick and the baby. They had all agreed on going sightseeing since the weather was so nice. The group of them had spent hours wandering around the beautiful scenery until Rose had gotten too tired to continue. Now that they're home again, Nick's stretched out with his niece on the sofa, and as much as Harry enjoys baking, he's very tempted to abandon his kitchen duties so he can join them.

"You know that's salt right, not sugar," Olivia nudges Harry gently. He shakes his head groggily when she speaks, realizing that he is indeed blindly reaching for the salt which will ruin the pastries if it's added.

"Thanks," Harry grins sheepishly, "need to pay more attention to what I'm doing."

"I don't blame you for being distracted, he's good with her," she nods her head in Nick's direction. Harry blushes like he's been caught doing something naughty, and in a way, it feels like he has. He's still not entirely used to being able to openly share his adoration for the other man, not after being forced to keep their relationship secret for so long. "So are you. You two will make good parents one day."

Harry's face flushes even hotter, his tongue lying uselessly in his mouth as he tries to fumble out a reply. "You - _uh_...thank you."

"Too personal?" Liv asks. "Sorry, I have the habit of doing that. Didn't mean to pry though."

"No - you're lovely, I promise you. I'm the one being rude," Harry apologizes instantly. "Usually I can't talk about things like this with anyone besides him, so it just caught me off guard."

"Doesn't that drive you a bit mental?" she asks in a curious tone. "I mean, you two seem to be dealing well, but having to be so hush-hush all the time would wear me down."

"Yes and no," Harry replies slowly. "I mean - it does get frustrating, but at least this way, we aren't bothered too much. I don't know if you remember the one time we decided to be a bit more blatant with our relationship. It was a few years back, but Nick got loads of hate for it, and nothing was ever even confirmed. I'd do anything to protect him from experiencing that again, especially since it'll be worse if we tell people we're actually together."

"You're a sweetheart," Liv coos, "but Nick's a big boy. He can take care of himself, and I think he knows that's part of the package that comes with dating a pop star."

"Yeah...I've thought about hinting at attempting to go public sometime soon, I just don't want to lose him," Harry admits. He peers into the other room to see if Nick is within earshot, but he sees no sign of either him or Rose. "The media is shit, and the things they say affect him, even if he swears they don't."

Olivia doesn't seem to know what to say in response to that, so they cook in silence for a while, the beating of their whisks and the beeping of the oven timer the only sound in the humid kitchen. Harry's thoughts are screaming though, they're getting louder by the second until they are all he can hear.

Olivia is right, Nick isn't the same person he was when Harry first met him, and neither is their relationship. They're stronger now, and he believes that they can beat any negative attention they receive this time around as long as they band together instead of letting it tear them apart. It would be worth it to be able to walk around London without having to dodge the paparazzi and fans at every turn, at least, Harry thinks it would be.

Nick enters the kitchen just then, a beaming smile on his face as he seats himself at the small table in the corner. "Rose is down for her nap," he announces proudly.

"Wow," Olivia pretends to be shocked, "didn't think you could actually do it. Guess you aren't that bad of an uncle after all."

"Excuse me, I am the best uncle ever and you know it," Nick scoffs playfully, pulling his sunglasses down over his eyes to emphasize his statement.

"Oh my god - stay like that," Liv laughs, dusting off her hands as she pulls out her phone, opening up Instagram and snapping a picture of Nick's smug face.

"Is there something in the Grimshaw genes that makes you all like documenting things on Instagram?" Harry teases. He moves across the room so he can see the photo Olivia is showing to Nick, asking for his approval to post it.

"Of course Styles," Nick answers flippantly. "Liv still has a lot to learn though. This definitely needs a caption."

"Hey, I was getting there," Liv protests, but she still lets Nick confiscate her phone without argument.

Harry sinks down next to Nick as he starts playing with the picture, adding the word _"legend"_ in massive letters at the bottom, followed by _"Nick rules"_ and _"wish I was him"_ all in different fonts.

"Let me do some," Harry pleads, taking the mobile from Nick when he hands it to him. Harry debates on what he's going to contribute for a second, finally deciding on _"world's best uncle"_ and _"so handsome"_ before returning the phone to Nick.

"Now you've got a weird empty space right here," Liv points out, snatching her phone back from them both, typing _"so_ _cool"_ in the aforementioned spot. "That's perfect," she announces while posting the now overly captioned selfie to her story. "Alright, it's up, so shoo Nick. The world has been informed of your amazing uncle skills, and you're distracting Harry. I need him to help me finish dinner."

"Hey, I can be useful too," Nick protests. Harry arches one of his eyebrows doubtfully. He's seen Nick's cooking skills at work, and although he's not awful, he's a bit more of a detriment in the kitchen than an asset most of the times.

"Why don't you go keep an eye on Rose, she might wake up," Harry suggests delicately, not wanting to insult Nick's culinary skills in front of his family. "We're almost done here anyway, just got to get the desert going."

"Fine, I see how it is," Nick pretends to be upset, "but you better save me the extra batter to lick at, or I will be very cross with you."

"Have I ever not?" Harry grins, pulling Nick in for a quick kiss that leaves his stomach in knots.

Harry feels like bubbles are erupting through his bloodstream by the time Nick pulls away. He quickly returns to his baking before Olivia can say anything, but he maintains a permanent smile on his face the entire time.

**22:25**

"God, why did I pack these?" Nick groans as he holds up one of the last clean items of clothing he has left, which just so happens to be a full set of blue pyjamas that he doesn't remember ever owning, much less deciding to take with him.

"I don't know, but I love that you did," Harry remarks in a slow rumble, his sleep-heavy eyes crinkling at the corners as he peers at Nick from the edge of the bed.

"Don't lie to me Styles, there is no way these can be attractive, even in your twisted up head."

"Heyy, you would look well fit in those, but you could sleep naked too, either one works for me."

"Filthy child," Nick chuckles under his breath. "In order to protect myself from your wiles, I will have to wear these. Don't want mum walking in and catching a glimpse of my bits by accident, naked just doesn't work in a house full of family members."

"Fine," Harry pouts, "but hurry up, will you? I'm cold and I want snuggles."

"You wouldn't be chilly if you'd brought a stunning pair of pj's like I did," Nick retorts playfully, "but alright yes I'm coming. Just let me rinse off first."

"You going to steal my shampoo again?" Harry calls after Nick even though he's already closed the door of the bathroom behind him.

"Sort of have to," Nick yells back, "ran out of mine yesterday."

"'Course you did," he hears Harry mutter in reply.

Nick knows he has a bit of a problem with packing, it's just so difficult for him. He tries to make a list and get everything he needs ready a few days in advance, but his mind constantly distracts him with other tasks, and before he knows it, he's tossing things into his suitcase at the last minute and hoping for the best.

He reminds himself to ask Harry to help him pack for the Biggest Weekend when they get home. The younger man is much better at it than he is, even if he might end up with some questionable fashion choices. At least he'll have clean clothes, and nothing can be worse than this pyjama disaster he's currently dealing with.

Nick washes up quickly, inhaling the fruity scent that Harry's shampoo has shrouded him in. It's different than it was the last time Nick saw him, before it was vanilla, now it's raspberry. He isn't sure why he feels that he needs to remember this, it's not important, but somehow it is. He wants to know everything about Harry, even his current favored shampoo scent, so he stores the fact away in his already overwhelmed mind.

Once Nick is mostly dry, he puts on his ridiculous set of pyjamas. He still can't believe he brought these, Emily must have tossed them in as a joke, or perhaps he was a bit tipsy while packing. Whatever the case was, Nick is finding this entire situation hilarious. He decides to share his fashion faux pas with the world, taking a video featuring his best version of a grandpa's voice.

He can hear Harry laughing hysterically in the other room, but luckily, his phone's speakers don't pick up the sound. He posts the video quickly, running a hand through his damp hair like that will help improve his look before he reenters the bedroom where Harry is waiting for him with a wide grin on his face.

"Stop smiling popstar, I know I look ridiculous, you don't need to rub it in."

"You look handsome," Harry replies instantly, but Nick can hear his suppressed giggles even though he's doing his best to hide them.

"That's generous, but I'll take it. At least I'm cozy," Nick sighs as he gets under the blankets, hiding his atrocious sleepwear the best that he can with the duvet.

"And silky," Harry exclaims happily as he pets the fabric covering Nick's arm. "Can I steal these for tour? I love soft pyjamas."

"Please do," Nick agrees instantly. "As a trade, can I borrow a shirt tomorrow? I've got nothing clean left."

"You're terrible," Harry sighs, "but yes, of course you can. I brought a few extra just in case."

"What would I do without you?" Nick sighs happily, pulling Harry in for a quick kiss as he speaks.

"Be lonely and underdressed probably," Harry chuckles softly, his head resting in the crook of Nick's shoulder that seems to be made just for him.

"True," Nick nods, only for Harry to nudge him gently.

"Shush, I'm trying to watch the end of this," Harry silences him, pointing toward the telly which has just switched from adverts and is now playing a Spanish soap opera.

"Do you even know what's going on?" Nick asks quietly, earning himself another jab to the ribs from Harry's bony elbow.

"Yes, well - _sort of_ ," Harry admits. "I think that one - Carlos - is in love with the older man's wife. I haven't caught his name yet, but Carlos is telling him that she deserves better than him and he will make sure she's cared for, or something like that."

"Ooh, so much drama, keep me filled in will you?"

"'Course," Harry answers with a yawn, which Nick knows is a sign that he'll be asleep within the next ten minutes, but he lets him watch his show until his eyes are drooping continuously and he can't stifle his yawns for any longer.

Nick gently rearranges Harry so he's more comfortable, letting him rest his head on his chest so he can still see the tv if he wants. As he had guessed, Harry drifts off quickly, the sound of the soap opera continuing in the background as Nick tries to follow his lead, but his mind isn't on board with the idea of shutting down. He's suddenly become aware that this holiday is almost over, that soon he'll have to return to real life, to face the decisions he's been putting off for far too long.

He'll be fine, he always is, but a part of him wishes he could stay here in Ibiza with Harry forever. That's an unrealistic dream, and he wouldn't actually take that option if it was presented to him, but a few more days to hide away from reality would most definitely be appreciated.

**18/5**

**3:12**

Harry wakes up in a cold sweat. His heart is beating out of his chest, and for some reason, he's terrified. He reaches for Nick blindly, digging his fingers into the smooth fabric of his shirt.

His movements wake Nick up instantly, like he knows Harry needs him. He barely has time to let out a whimper before Nick is surrounding him, encompassing him, while at the same time pushing away the fear that is still gnawing at the edges of his brain.

"Harry, 's okay, I've got you," Nick mumbles sleepily. He's barely conscious, but his first instinct is still to protect Harry - _god_ , what did he do to deserve him?

Harry is reminded of a word he'd heard the other week, latibule. He only recalls it since at the time he had no idea what it had meant, so he'd looked it up when he had a spare moment. Its definition had instantly made him think of Nick. He's his hiding place, his safety, even if they're thousands of miles apart.

"I'm alright, sorry...just a bad dream. It's fading now," Harry blushes sheepishly. He hasn't had a true nightmare in quite some time, at least not one that's left him this shaken. Nick doesn't seem to mind being woken at all though, if anything, he just holds Harry tighter.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Nick suggests after a few minutes of silence during which Harry tries to slow his ragged breathing pattern to match the steady pace of Nick's.

"I - I don't remember most of it, you just...weren't there, and I was alone. It sounds silly when I say it out loud."

"You're not being silly love," Nick assures him instantly. "Did I tell you about that one dream I had where the dust came out of the hoover and turned into a monster? I was terrified. Don't think I touched the hoover for a whole week after it," he chuckles softly.

"You did mention it," Harry laughs, remembering Nick's colorful narration of his nightmare. "It did sound quite scary though, I mean - dust monsters could be a very big threat. How would you get rid of them? Can't really hurt them, and if they come out of the hoover, then trying to hoover them back up wouldn't work either."

"Exactly!" Nick exclaims. "I knew you'd get it, and I want to do the same for you. Whatever's bothering you, you can tell me, whether it's something real or a dust monster."

Harry smiles gratefully, his insides twisting into knots as he tries to decipher what exactly is going on in his head. "I - did you mean what you said the other day?" Harry blurts out suddenly, earning himself a confused look from Nick as an answer.

"Need to be a bit more specific than that darling, I talk quite a lot."

"About...about us and children? Do you really think we can have a kid together eventually?" Harry asks in almost a whisper.

He isn't sure why this is the issue he's chosen to focus on, but it is pressing in a manner of speaking. Spending so much time with Rose has reminded Harry of how much he truly does want a child someday, but he isn't sure if it will ever be possible, especially not if he has to keep Nick a secret from the world.

"Of course I did. I want to do everything with you, including having kids, as long as that's what you want too."

"It is," Harry answers instantly, "I'm just...what if it doesn't work out? We can't raise a kid like this, I won't hide them, but...I -" Harry can't continue speaking due to the lump that's formed in his throat. No matter how hard he tries to swallow it away, it's growing by the second, but he refuses to let a dream reduce him to tears.

"Darling, hey...calm down yeah," Nick soothes him, his fingers petting through his unruly curls in a calming gesture that allows Harry to take a deep breath. "It's okay to be scared, I am too honestly. But I'm here, and we're together. We'll figure it out when the time comes."

Harry nods slowly, trying to decipher why he's so upset all of a sudden. He can't even place his finger on what exactly the dream had been about anymore. All he can recall is a feeling, an ache deep inside of him, an emptiness that he's only experienced a few times in his life, once when he thought he had lost Nick forever. He can't bear for that to happen again, and even though he trusts Nick, sometimes he's so afraid that they'll fall victim to one of the many traps that litter the path leading forward.

"Come here love," Nick whispers as he pulls him into his arms. Harry relaxes as he hears Nick's heartbeat filling his ear, drowning out the intense sensation of loss that he has no reason to be experiencing. "You're alright, you're safe. Try and get some more sleep now yeah? We can talk in the morning."

Harry tries to reply, but he can't think of the words he needs to describe how thankful he is for not only Nick's comfort, but for the other man in general. When Nick starts humming what sounds like Sweet Creature under his breath, Harry turns his face into his shirt and sniffles quietly, letting his eyes slip shut as Nick continues to stroke his hair in a steady cadence.

Harry rarely lets himself break, to show his weakness to anyone, but when he does, Nick is always there to pick him back up, to give him a shoulder to cry on, or an outstretched hand to help him regain his feet. He knows that his fears are foolish, that he and Nick can overcome anything that is thrown their way, but still, he's nervous about what is to come. Harry wants so much, but he refuses to hurt Nick with his needs, and he has no idea what is the best thing to do that will protect the both of them.

**8:29**

Nick peeks over at Harry as he gets ready for their last full day here. His heart twists in his chest when he realizes that this wonderful sliver of time is almost at an end, but he knows that it can't last forever.

He can sense that Harry's struggling with his own emotions as well, but he's pushing them down, burying his face in his suitcase and pretending like last night hadn't happened, which isn't what Nick wants.

"You still up for a chat love?" Nick asks when Harry's movements begin to get more frantic. He's made quite a mess of his things now, which is unusual for him, so Nick decides to intervene before his belongings end up all over the place.

"Just a second...I - I can't find -"

"Harry." Nick states his name tersely, kneeling down next to the younger man and grasping both of his hands in his until Harry finally meets his gaze. "Don't do this yeah? No hiding, we promised this before. If this is going to work, we need to talk about things, not shove them to the side until they grow into problems too big for us to handle."

Nick is actually a bit shocked at how the tables have turned. Harry is typically the bluntly honest one, the person who isn't afraid to speak his mind, while Nick is usually left not knowing how to deal with his feelings so he chooses to ignore them more often than not. Harry's still human though, sometimes Nick forgets that, but he's going to have his bad days just like Nick does, so he is determined to be there for the younger man since Harry's always been there for him.

"I - I'm sorry," Harry exhales shakily. "I don't mean to be like this, and I'm fine, I swear. Just got a lot on my mind."

"Like kids and the future?" Nick leads him, guessing the source of his distress easily thanks to his outburst from last night. "You know we don't have to have it all figured out right now love. You're young, and we have time to settle later on. I'm in no hurry, and you shouldn't be either."

"I know," Harry groans, "it's not just that...it's - nothing, I'm just being ridiculous," Harry deflects one last time. Nick's so rarely seen him like this that he's momentarily terrified, but he doesn't let himself jump to conclusions like he would have done a year ago.

"It doesn't seem like nothing..." Nick hedges, "but if you want me to leave it, I will. I know you're upset though, and I just want to understand why."

Harry finally stops fidgeting, his green eyes meeting Nick's, allowing him to see the haze of confusion clouding their brilliant color. "It's not like that," Harry sighs, "it's not anything bad at all. I'm just a bit caught up in my head, and being here with you has made me think how much I wish we could do this more often, of how I want to be with you properly and not just when no one else can see, but I'm also scared."

"I'm a bit lost, are you unhappy with us?" Nick asks nervously. That's the last thing he wants to hear, but he has to know if that's the case.

" _No_!" Harry exclaims instantly, "God no - things have been perfect. I'm sorry, I'm not explaining myself right..." he groans quietly.

"It's alright darling, take your time," Nick encourages him. He breathes in deeply as he lets Harry unravel his thoughts, brushing his thumb over the back of Harry's knuckles gently as he waits.

"I think I want to go public about us," Harry finally announces after a minute of silence, "or at least be less careful. I'm just worried that if we do, it could ruin things if the media goes off like they have in the past. Still, I - I want to be able to share the fact that I'm in love, to stop hiding behind my female friends and letting the tabloids print shit about us dating just so I can keep you a secret. I want to bloody marry you one day, and have kids, and just - how can we do all that if no one even knows were together?

" _Harry_..." Nick exhales heavily, his throat closing up as he reels from Harry's unexpected statement, "how long have you been feeling this way?"

"I mean, I've always wanted these things I think, but since I was with you in London last the longing got stronger. I just - seeing you there at my show, I wished I could acknowledge you. I don't like having to sneak you backstage and pretend like you're just a friend anymore. But then I think about how it was before, how cruel everyone was to you, how they tore us apart, and I can't stand for that to happen again either," Harry whimpers quietly. "I'm just so confused. I want to be more open about our relationship, but at the same time, I can't bear to lose you, and I might if people learn about us."

"You won't lose me because of things others say, I can promise you that," he answers solemnly, pulling Harry closer to his chest as he tries to find the right words to say. "I know I let them get to me before, and I can't swear it won't bother me again, but I won't believe them this time. You're still here, and if that shit they said was the truth, you wouldn't be. Either way, it's worth it. I'm in love with you Harry Styles. I want to be with you in any way I can, and if you want to tell the world about us, I'll be announcing how much I love you hourly on the radio the second you give me the go-ahead."

"You make it sound so easy," Harry sniffles softly, but Nick thinks he can detect the hint of a smile pulling at his lips, "and it should be, but I know it won't. If it all goes wrong, we can't take it back. What if coming out is a mistake?"

Nick knows how Harry's feeling, he's been on the other side of this conversation more times than he can count, if it even happened that is. More often than not, Nick was too afraid to ask for the answers to his questions, but here Harry is, pouring his heart out to him even though he's obviously struggling with his own fears and uncertainties.

 _God_ \- Nick loves him, he wants to give him the world, but he is also reluctant to make promises that he might not be able to keep. He can speak for himself, but not for what others will say or do, and he has no idea what the future will hold for them if they do go public with their relationship.

He debates telling Harry that it will go better this time around, that they’re both older and more grounded, that his fans won’t care as much now that he’s no longer a teenager. He could mention he’s thinking of leaving the Breakfast Show as well, that stepping out of that role might shield him from some of the media’s scrutiny, but it’s all hopeful guessing in the end.

But the thing is, Nick never actually wanted a definite yes or no reply when he would voice these same queries, especially not with matters like this. No one can see what's going to happen a month from now, or even tomorrow. What Nick had really needed back then was the reassurance that he wasn't alone, and he thinks that's what Harry wants too.

"Wait here a second," Nick speaks up again, gently letting go of Harry so he can move over to his bag, keeping his eye on the younger man the entire time.

"Did you get me a present?" Harry genuinely grins for the first time all morning, his eyes glittering faintly as he peers at Nick curiously.

"God Styles, you always ruin the surprise," Nick scoffs playfully, making sure to roll his eyes obnoxiously as he speaks. "But yes, I did. I know this won't fix anything," Nick mutters as he digs among his things, finally emerging with what he's been looking for, "and I can't tell you what we should do, but I do know that you make me happy, and I want you to do whatever will make you happy as well. But like I said before, you don't have to decide right now. We can talk more about it, weigh the pros and cons, maybe even test the waters a bit and see how things go. No matter what though, I'll be there by your side."

"Nick," Harry sighs warmly, seemingly lost for any other words as Nick makes his way back over to him, his hand curling around the item he had recently retrieved.

"Now this isn't meant to be anything, I just saw this while I was out in Malta, and I thought of you." Nick pulls out what he's been hiding, which is an oddly shaped ring with a pink stone that practically screams Harry to him. "Now it's not _that_ ring, obviously," Nick clarifies, "but it's just...I don't know, I'm the one being silly now, but the stone is Rhodochrosite. According to the lady that sold it to me, it's a crystal that's supposed to help you find love and freedom, or enhance them if you already have them. Probably a load of bollocks she feeds to tourists like me so we'll buy her wares, but I like the sentiment, and maybe it'll help remind you that you're never alone even if I'm not physically there. It's cheesy, I know, but when I saw it, I just had to get it for you."

"I - I love it," Harry stammers out, his tone wavering slightly when Nick hands it over to him. He seems to be on the verge of tears, so Nick continues speaking in the hopes of damning the waterworks.

"And I know this doesn't fix anything, and I don't have all the answers, but I'm here for as long as you want me alright? We'll make it through all this, we just need to take it a day at a time."

"Thank you," Harry exhales, "thank you so much." The end of his sentence gets lost when he smushes his face against Nick's torso, which is still bare since he has yet to find a clean shirt. Nick hugs Harry back tightly for a few moments, trying to ignore the sounds of the rest of his family waking up, which means they need to be decent soon as well.

"Call it even if you find me something to wear," Nick jokes weakly when Harry finally loosens his grip a bit, leaving behind a damp spot that Nick truly hopes is happy tears.

"I've got just the thing," Harry smirks mischievously, all traces of his earlier distress completely erased from his features. He wipes briefly at the corners of his eyes before putting on his new ring. He then picks through the pile of clothes adoring the top of his suitcase, emerging with a familiar red shirt that Nick hasn't seen in ages.

"Oh god, that'll start rumors for sure if people see me in that," Nick chuckles when he sees the familiar Hawaiian patterned button up that he knows Harry's fans will recognize as his instantly.

"We'll have to make sure to take lots of pictures then."

"You better get my good side," Nick replies, a smile splitting his face in two as they finish getting ready, the atmosphere now clear and light, the oppressive aura it had carried earlier has dissipated completely when faced with Harry's laughter and dimples.

Nick is aware that they have more discussing to do, and they will, he won't hide from this like his past self would have. But for now, he just wants to enjoy his last full day here with Harry, everything else can wait until tomorrow.

**19/5**

**13:15**

Harry laughs under his breath as Nick takes a picture of them seated side by side on the plane. He crops Harry out before he posts the altered photo to Instagram, alerting his followers that he's returning home.

Harry doesn't let it upset him this time. One day Nick will post pictures with him in them, and just because the world doesn't know he's here doesn't make it any less meaningful.

They had talked more last night after they'd spent the entire day exploring as much of Malta as they could. They hadn't discussed everything, and Harry still has some questions, but he's not afraid of their future anymore. Nick is on board with going public, which is what Harry had been hoping for, but they have both decided to wait until after Harry's tour ends just in case things get uglier than anticipated.

Harry doesn't want to worry about that now though. He's gotten his desire off of his chest, and now Nick knows, he's on the same page with him. They will hammer out the finer details at some point, but that's something they will deal with later. Right now, Harry's sleepy, and he wants to rest a bit before they get back to London.

Harry scoots closer to Nick's side as the airplane takes off, his eyes already feeling heavy as the older man's warmth seeps into his jumper. Nick lifts his arm up instinctually, letting Harry nuzzle into his side even though they're in public. It's not like they're in an extremely open area, they're in the first class cabin with hardly anyone else around, but still, it's not something they usually do.

Harry recognizes Nick's gesture for what it is, but he doesn't say anything. He simply squeezes his hand tightly when Nick wraps it around his waist, physically thanking him for not just this, but for the entire week. Nick replies by kissing the top of his head lightly, his lips lingering for longer than usual, not that Harry is complaining.

Harry grins down at his new ring as his eyelids slip closed. He feels so comfortable here, so safe. He's not even worried about making sure his hood is covering his face, because if it doesn't, so what? He's not in One Direction anymore, no one can tell him to hide who he is. He's the only one standing in his own way now, and he can feel his fears crumbling under the weight of Nick's love.

It will all work out in the end, Harry has faith in that. Nick is here, and he's not leaving no matter what happens, so really, what can go wrong?


End file.
